Tag Archives: marriage

Don’t go where you shouldn’t go – July 23, 2018

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Samson’s downfall started way before he met. Let’s take a look at why he started to fall and how we might be similar. So here’s something to ask yourself before we take a look at Samson. How often do you lust after something. Lust isn’t confined to sexual things, but for the men out there, do you flip through the channels and stop on one too long because you saw a skimpily clad woman on one of those channels? Ladies, do you obsess over a piece of jewelry or clothes or makeup or some other material thing.

You can lust over almost anything. And usually, that lust starts because you find yourself in a place you shouldn’t be in the first place, right? You shouldn’t have stopped on that channel. You shouldn’t have stared at fashion magazine. You shouldn’t have been in that part of town. You shouldn’t have stayed around that group of people when conversations started going the wrong way.

So let’s go back to Samson. Judges chapter 14. Samson went down to Timnah and saw there a young Philistine woman. When he returned, he said to his father and mother, “I have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife.”

His father and mother replied, “Isn’t there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people? Must you go to the uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?”

But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me. She’s the right one for me.” (His parents did not know that this was from the LORD, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time they were ruling over Israel.)

So what do we find out about Samson in those few verses?

First, he was in a place he shouldn’t have been. Timnah was in the heart of Philistine territory. That was the enemy’s camp. What did he think he was doing? Those places were off limits to God’s people. God didn’t want his chosen to have anything to do with the pagan populations across the land. The reason the Israelites were in this predicament in the first place. They didn’t destroy all those pagan symbols and idols as they went through those battles. God told them to, but they didn’t. It started at Jericho when Achen kept some of the silver and clothes and hid them in his tent. And just like Achen, in battle after battle, someone just couldn’t believe God meant what he said and thought they knew better than he did. They didn’t obey his commands and so the nation paid the price.

Samson was amazingly strong. His parents raised him as a Nazarite, someone special, set aside for God’s work. Someone with more constraints that even the priests. He was born to rule. His parents raised him well. But we all have a choice and he made some poor ones. Samson went to Timnah. And there his eyes began to wander and he saw a Philistine woman that caught his eye. He wanted her as his wife.

Mistake number two. Samson knew and his parents knew Israelites were supposed to marry among their people. Marriage outside the tribe was forbidden. Why did God put that rule in place? Take a look at every marriage to someone from one of the pagan nations around them. The bride or groom brought their pagan gods with them and it wasn’t long before the household was worshiping that pagan god. Then the worship of that pagan god spread to other neighbors and friends. The clan just couldn’t figure out Jehovah didn’t bless them. They forgot he was a jealous God and would not allow them to worship anyone but him.

But Samson, he lusted after this pagan woman and didn’t care if she belonged to the tribe or not. He didn’t care if she was one of the enemy. He didn’t care if it violated one of God’s rules for his people. He didn’t care that marrying her might lead to disaster as had every other marriage outside the rules God set for his people.

Mistake number three, Samson’s parents quit acting like parents and Samson broke another of God’s commands. One of those ten written on the tablets God gave Moses on Mount Sinai. Remember the one that says honor your father and mother so your years may be long? Samson’s parents tried to get Samson to marry someone from Israel, but Samson pitched a small fit and his parents quit exercising their authority and gave into him.

There’s a mistake we see all too often today. Johnny pitches a fit and parents give in. Parents want to be their kid’s friend instead of being a parent. Proverbs tells parents to raise children in the way they should go. That doesn’t meant let them do what they want. Is it hard. Yep, sometimes it is. But our role is to be a parent, not a friend. And in Samson’s day, without his parents securing the arrangement, there would have been no marriage between Samson and the Philistine from Timnah. If they had said no, Samson might have pitched a fit, but if they held their ground and been good parents, in their day, there would have been no marriage. As simple as that.

And if Samson had listen to his parents’ early request to marry someone within Israel, he wouldn’t have gotten into the mess he did. The footnote the writer gives us says the Lord set all this in motion, but sometimes I’m not sure God really did that. I’m sure he used it by turning the bad to good. But I’m not sure Israel had a very mature understanding of God at that point as they blamed God for Samson’s disobedience. He made bad choices just like we do. And he paid the consequences for his bad choices, just like we do.

So there they are in those first four verses of Judges 14. Bad choices. Samson purposely went to places he knew he shouldn’t have gone. He let his eyes stray and lusted after someone (or something) he know he shouldn’t have. And he failed to honor his parents by listening to their choice for his marriage. Then as a side note, his parents quit acting like parents.

Now take a look at yourself. You know reading and studying God’s word is really worthless if we don’t apply what is says to ourselves. So here are some things that we need to ask ourselves in this fight we wage every day against the devil.

Do I know my weaknesses and where Satan will try to tempt me?

Do I stay away from those places I know will tempt me in my weakest areas?

Do I lust after things that I know might affect my relationship with God?

Do I listen to the sage advice of my elders and especially my parents, understanding they have gone before me and have my best in mind?

Do I pay attention to God’s word and follow his commands to the very best of my ability?

A little introspection in those areas might just keep you from falling into the consequences Samson suffered. He did some great things for Israel, but he also spent a lot of time suffering because of his failures. Learn from him.

You can find me at richardagee.com. I also invite you to join us at San Antonio First Church of the Nazarene on West Avenue in San Antonio to hear more Bible based teaching. You can find out more about my church at SAF.church. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed it, tell a friend. If you didn’t, send me an email and let me know how better to reach out to those around you. Until next week, may God richly bless you as you venture into His story each day.

The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved. In accordance with the requirements for FTC full disclosure, I may have affiliate relationships with some or all of the producers of the items mentioned in this post who may provide a small commission to me when purchased through this site.

No spouse in heaven? (Mark 12:24-27) September 1, 2016

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Today’s Bible reading plan:

Read it in a year – Proverbs 20-21

see the whole year’s plan [here](http://www.bible-reading.com/bible-plan.pdf)

Today’s Devotional

Mark 12:24-27
Jesus: You can’t see the truth because you don’t know the Scriptures well and because you don’t really believe that God is powerful. The answer is this: when the dead rise, they won’t be married or given in marriage. They’ll be like the messengers in heaven, who are not united with one another in marriage. But how can you fail to see the truth of resurrection? Don’t you remember in the Book of Moses how God talked to Moses out of a burning bush and what God said to him then? “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” “I am,” God said. Not “I was.” So God is not the God of the dead but of the living. You are sadly mistaken.

What do Jesus’ words mean for us today?

No marriage in heaven? This year my wife and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. That’s a pretty big deal in today’s society. In a current culture where 50% of church goers divorce, sadly, sticking around with the same marriage partner for 40 years is becoming a rarity. I can’t imagine doing anything else. I’ve kind of gotten use to having her around. I’m not sure I could get use to not having her around. She’s pretty special to me. So when I get to statements like this from Jesus, my eyebrows turn up a little.

Does that mean Carole and I will be separated in heaven? Does that mean we won’t know each other or spend eternity together? Does that mean our marriage will be null and void when we both walk through the pearly gates? No. No. And sort of.

We won’t be husband and wife in heaven. Marital relationships will not mean anything after the resurrection. Why? There is really a simple reason. We, the church, believers, followers of Christ, are referred to as the bride of Christ. We will be collectively and individually in an intimate relationship with Christ. Notice I didn’t say sexual relationship. I said an intimate relationship. John says when we see Him we will know Him and be like Him and see Him like He really is.

I think there will be an intimacy in the relationships we all share in heaven that does not compare with our relationships here on earth. The closest approximation is that of a marriage between a husband and wife as the two become one through years of love and toil and struggle and joy and sorrow and happiness. Those years of getting to know each other better than we know ourselves sometimes. I think that’s the closest we can get with the limitations we have in our current physical frames. But when we get to heaven, when we lose the constraints of these bodies of clay and are resurrected into our new bodies, I think we will enjoy new sight, new thought, new communication skills, new realms of intimacy with God and with each other that we cannot begin to imagine here.

We will know each other. Not just our current spouses, but we will have that intimacy with every one of God’s redeemed. We will have that intimacy with Jesus. We will have that intimacy with God, the Father and God, the Spirit. We will know each other the same way He knows us now we when shed these temporal vessels that house our immortal spirit.

I’ll recognize Carole, not as my wife, but as a fellow saint as we worship together at the feet of Jesus. And I recognize Gery and Ruth and August and Charlene and Nick and… just begin to make your list. I’ll recognize all of those who have gone before and will come after me in the same way I recognize Carole. We will all rejoice at worship at the feet of Jesus. The Bride of Christ. His church. There won’t be any jealousy if I talk to someone else or if she talks to someone else. We have eternity to learn about everyone there. We can hear first hand the stories of Peter and Paul and Silas and Barnabas and Phoebe. We will know each other and relish the time we can spend with each other, but mostly the time we can spend in the presence of God.

Satan jumps on my back every once in a while when I read verses like these. He says, “What kind of place is heaven, if your wife won’t be your wife anymore.” But Satan is the father of lies. You see, relationships in heaven will be perfect. No missed cues between anyone. No misspoken words or misinterpreted phrases. No actions that hurt someone or whose actions hurt me. No failures in understanding non-verbal cues or missing the meaning of an important communique. My relationships with everyone will be perfect in heaven.

And best of all, we will see Jesus! He will be the center of attention for all who go there. The rooms are finished. The furniture is in place, curtains are hung, and pictures are on the walls. He’s just waiting for the Father to say, “Son, go get your bride, your church.” Whichever one of us departs this life first, the other will be sad for a while, lonely for the comfort and companionship and love we enjoy right now. But not long after that, we will be reunited with everyone else who sings the song of the redeemed to be forever together with our Lord.

The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.
In accordance with the requirements for FTC full disclosure, I may have affiliate relationships with some or all of the producers of the items mentioned in this post who may provide a small commission to me when purchased through this site.

An important institution (Mark 10:3-12) August 18, 2016

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Today’s Bible reading plan:

Read it in a year – Proverbs 17-18

see the whole year’s plan [here](http://www.bible-reading.com/bible-plan.pdf)

Today’s Devotional

Mark 10:3-12
Jesus: What did Moses say to you?
Pharisees: Moses permitted us to write a certificate of dismissal and divorce her.
Jesus: Moses gave you this law as a concession because of the hardness of your hearts. But truly, God created humans male and female in the beginning. As it is written in the Hebrew Scriptures, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother to marry his wife, and the two of them will become one flesh and blood.” So they are no longer two people, but one. What God has joined together in this way, no one may sever.
In the privacy of their dwelling that evening, the disciples asked Him about this teaching, and He went even further.
Jesus: If any husband divorces his wife and then marries another woman, he commits adultery against her. And if a wife should divorce her husband and marry another, then she commits adultery against him.

What do Jesus’ words mean for us today?

Jesus must have been mistaken when He said this stuff. God certainly didn’t mean for us to be stuck with the same person forever if we can’t get along, right? God wants us to be happy and if that means we need to get away from the person we married divorce is okay, right? These words are just an old fashioned, arcane philosophy that only prudes believe in. No one believes this stuff anymore, right?

We certainly act that way as a society. We even act that way within our churches when you look at the statistics. In fact, there are now more divorces in our churches than outside our churches. I hope that is because we still believe more in marriage than the rest of the world and we not just living together, but that’s another message. Even in the church, divorce is no longer the taboo it once was. If we don’t like our spouse any more, we just quit. We don’t spend the effort to make marriage work. We just jump in and out of relationships as if God doesn’t care.

All you need to do is read Jesus’ words again and you’ll see that God does care, though. He intends marriage to last for as long as you live. He intends for marriage and family to be the bedrock of our communities and our society. When you take a look around at the number of broken homes, is it any wonder we have the problems we have today?

Family and home is where we should feel safe and learn about love and security. But if husband and wife are bickering, failing to understand love and work on relationships, then how will their children learn to love? If husband and wife decide that their spouse is not important and can be thrown aside, with all the damage that broken relationship brings, how can their children learn differently as they grow?

We have bred a society that accepts divorce and brokenness as the norm. We have decided as a society that it’s okay to jump in and out of relationships as quickly as you change careers or jobs. We think it doesn’t hurt anyone, so why not try another spouse and throw the old relationships away. We have decided if our current spouse isn’t making us happy for the moment that it’s okay to find someone else who will.

The problem is that no one can make us feel happy or sad or wanted or discarded. We own our feelings. It’s time we figure out that we can control our feelings and feelings are not what love is about. Love and marriage and family is about a lifelong commitment to each other. Remember what Jesus said about the marriage relationship and divorce? The certificate of divorce that Moses inserted into the law for strict reasons unfaithfulness were allowed by God only as a concession because of the hardness of their hearts. Divorce was never part of His plan. It was never something He wanted or condoned.

God allows divorce just like He allows sickness and disease and sin and death. Does He want those things in the earth? Absolutely not! But He allows them because we choose not to abide by His law. We fail to follow Him and so suffer the consequences that come with it.

Our society is suffering the consequences of forgetting what Jesus said in these few verses. We have taken marriage vows lightly. We jump into marriage without taking seriously the responsibilities and commitments that come along with the vows we took. We let Satan lure us into thinking relationships don’t matter. And so we see the rise of divorce and the dissolution of families. Our children and their children pay the price. Those broken homes permeate our society and result in the broken lives that just continue the cycle of disruption in the home, the school, the workplace, everywhere you look.

Divorce affects everyone. It have never been God’s plan. We need to turn this ship around in our society and make marriage the important institution God intended it to be once again.

The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.
In accordance with the requirements for FTC full disclosure, I may have affiliate relationships with some or all of the producers of the items mentioned in this post who may provide a small commission to me when purchased through this site.

The God of the living (Matthew 22:29-32), May 22, 2016

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Today’s Bible reading plan:

Read it in a year – 2 Corinthians 11-13

see the whole year’s plan [here](http://www.bible-reading.com/bible-plan.pdf)

Today’s Devotional

Matthew 22:29-32
Jesus: You know neither God’s Scriptures nor God’s power—and so your assumptions are all wrong. At the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. They will be like the messengers of heaven.
A key to this resurrected life can be found in the words of Moses, which you do claim to read: “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Our God is not the God of the dead. He is the God of the living.

What do Jesus’ words mean for us today?

I sometimes find it amusing to hear the assumptions people make about heaven. It’s been happening a long time as we can see from today’s focus on Jesus’ words. First, you need to understand the Sadducees wanted nothing other than an argument with Jesus. Jesus kept talking about heaven and the resurrection and the Sadducees didn’t believe in a resurrection. They only took into account the books of Moses, the Law, and in those five books of the Old Testament, there is no promise of heaven or a here after or a resurrection.

So the Sadducees came to pick a fight and used the Law God gave Moses to try to trap Jesus in His words about heaven. Seven men marry the same woman after each dies successively. None have children, but they marry her in accordance with the Law to carry out the name of their deceased brother. That’s the law. That’s what Moses told them to do and He got it from God, right?

Well, they forgot Jesus had already come down pretty hard on the Pharisees for questioning Him about divorce. Divorce wasn’t in God’s design, but He made provision for it under certain circumstances because we live in an evil, wicked world. So now, these Sadducees think they can trump Jesus with their heaven question. Jesus has been preaching about heaven and the kingdom, so let’s see if He can answer this one.

Once again Jesus baffles these supposedly educated religious leaders. I like His not so subtle barb, “A key to this resurrected life can be found in the words of Moses, which you do claim to read:…” They think they have it right. They can no doubt recite long passages and never stumble on a single word. They even have their Talmud memorized. So they know all the great Rabbis’ interpretations of those difficult passages. Yeah, they’ve read the words of Moses. But do they get it?

I think that leads us to a few questions we need to answer today. First, have we even read it. Jesus pointed to them and acknowledged their claim. And Jesus really didn’t dispute the fact that they read the words. They could recite them as well as He could. So, the first question for us is have you read God’s word? It’s surprising how few Christians have read the Bible in its entirety. We think that’s for the “holy crowd” or the preachers or something. But if we really want to know God, don’t you think the words He left for us is a really good place to start? So that’s the first question, have you even read His word. If not, today is a good time to start.

The second question is do we understand it’s message? Some, like the Pharisees and the Sadducees like to pick it up and find all the “thou shalt not” passages and beat people over the head with them. They see God’s word as a list of rules we must keep in order to win God’s favor and find our way to heaven. But that’s not what God’s word is. The Bible is really a love story. It’s the story of God’s overwhelming love for the people He created. So much so, that He wrapped Himself in flesh and gave His own life as the redemption price to buy us back into His presence.

It’s a horrible picture to remember, but one that fits when you think of the price God paid for our redemption, but we were slaves to sin. Picture the 18th and 19th century slave ships and their cargo unloaded on the docks. Men, women and children standing on blocks sold at auction to the highest bidder. But we gave ourselves away to the master of sin and became his slave to do with whatever he wanted. But God came on the scene and bought us back. He gave His life to pay the price to break the chain that held us in the slave camps of the enemy and gave us a new life of grace and mercy and love.

He doesn’t chain us to this new life. We can return to the slavery of sin if we want, but why would anyone choose to do that after experiencing the freedom God gives when we ask Him. God’s word speaks of His plan of redemption from the very beginning. It tells His story of grace and mercy and forgiveness from the first sin in the Garden of Eden until John call out on the Isle of Patmos, “Come soon, Lord! Come soon.”

Have you read the book? Do you know it? Do you understand the message of redemption God gave us in His word? He is the God of the living and wants to give you new life, too.

The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.
In accordance with the requirements for FTC full disclosure, I may have affiliate relationships with some or all of the producers of the items mentioned in this post who may provide a small commission to me when purchased through this site.

Divorce should be a dirty word (Matthew 19:4-12) April 30, 2016

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Today’s Bible reading plan:

Read it in a year – Mark 15-16

see the whole year’s plan [here](http://www.bible-reading.com/bible-plan.pdf)

Today’s Devotional

Matthew 19:4-6, 8-12
Jesus: Haven’t you read that in the beginning God created humanity male and female? Don’t you remember what the story of our creation tells us about marriage? “For this reason, a man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” If a husband and wife are one flesh, how can they divorce? Divorce would be a bloody amputation, would it not? “What God has brought together, let no man separate.”
Pharisees: Why did Moses explain that if a man leaves his wife, then he must give her a certificate of divorce and send her away, free and clear of him?
Jesus: Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But divorce was an innovation, an accommodation to a fallen world. There was no divorce at creation. Listen, friends: if you leave your wife, unless there is adultery, and then marry another woman, you yourself are committing adultery. Only if there is adultery can you divorce your wife.
Disciples: If this is how it is, then it is better to avoid marrying in the first place.
Jesus: Not everyone can hear this teaching, only those to whom it has been given. Some people do not marry, of course. Some people are eunuchs because they are born that way, others have been made eunuchs by men, and others have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Anyone who can embrace that call should do so.

What do Jesus’ words mean for us today?

Our society has fallen far short of God’s design for marriage, hasn’t it? Does that mean it’s okay to lower God’s standard because society thinks it’s an archaic command? Just ask the families traumatized by divorce. The translation you’ve heard today describes the consequences of divorce pretty well. We think everything will work out so much better when we sever ties with the one we married because we found we’re not compatible any more, but listen to Jesus’ description. Divorce would be a bloody amputation… And just about every divorce I’ve ever seen has looked like that in the end – a bloody amputation.

The emotional scars are always deep and long lasting. It’s something from which you never fully recover because as Jesus says, you were one flesh and when you were torn apart, an amputation occurred. We have become so flippant about marriage, though. It is no wonder we are just as flippant about divorce. We think it’s okay to just though away relationships and don’t worry about the damage it causes to families, children, parents, siblings, friends, and others we touch. Divorce affects the whole of society as it breaks down the very fabric of our community, the bond between a husband and wife.

The marriage relationship is at the core of our community. It should be the relationship from which all others spring. When we disregard the importance of marriage and begin to trivialize
or minimize God’s directions for us in regard to marriage, we stand on shaky ground in regard to the whole of our society. It isn’t long before the family unit dissolves as we have already seen in our country. In fact, our rules for welfare support seem to encourage the dissolution of families rather than support them.

Now we see a small minority working feverishly to change the definition of marriage to include the union of any two people regardless of sex. But such a union was never in God’s plan for the procreation of the earth. It just doesn’t make sense in His plan. His mission for the first couple was to populate the earth. That marriage, that union, required them to become one flesh. To procreate. To expand the population. Adoption doesn’t procreate.

As Jesus says, divorce was contrived because we live in a fallen world. It was never God’s plan. We fall away from each other in marriage primarily because we fall away from God. If God is first for both partners in a marriage, it is unlikely the marriage will fall apart because the closer we come to God, the closer we come to each other as we keep God as the head of the home. The geometry of that marriage triangle always works. We just don’t like to put the effort into it in this fallen world that we need to.

Remember, Jesus gave these words to the people living in a community in which most had no choice in who they would marry. Marriages were arranged. Daughters were given to sons of others in the community and neither had a choice in the matter. Neither had any say in who they would wed. They were told. Fathers got together and determined the two would be a good fit and the engagement was set. The father of the groom had his son begin building rooms for the new bride on the family property and when complete, the father would send his son to retrieve his bride.

That was the culture in which Jesus said, the only acceptable reason for divorce was adultery. Have we become so civilized that the rules no longer apply? If we look at our society, I’d say we would do well to apply the rules God gave us. We’d be a lot better off. The evil rampant in our society would be a lot less if we paid attention to God’s word. It’s not any more, but divorce should still be a dirty word.

The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.
In accordance with the requirements for FTC full disclosure, I may have affiliate relationships with some or all of the producers of the items mentioned in this post who may provide a small commission to me when purchased through this site.

Jesus really did talk about divorce (Matthew 5:31-32) January 14, 2015

Today’s Podcast

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Today’s Bible reading plan:

Read it in a year – Job 3-4

see the whole year’s plan [here](http://www.bible-reading.com/bible-plan.pdf)

Today’s Devotional

Matthew 5:31-32
Jesus: And here is something else: you have read in Deuteronomy that anyone who divorces his wife must do so fairly—he must give her the requisite certificate of divorce and send her on her way, free and unfettered. But I tell you this: unless your wife cheats on you, you must not divorce her, period. Nor are you to marry someone who has been married and divorces, for a divorced person who remarries commits adultery.

What do Jesus’ words mean for us today?

These are tough words for our society where the divorce rate soars around 50 percent. In fact, last year the divorce rate in our churches exceeded that of the unchurched. Partly because the unchurch decide not to marry and just live together, but what an indictment against the church. How do we let that happen in light of Jesus’ words? Did we forget what He said?

We have made divorce so easy and told ourselves that divorce is okay so we just throw relationships out the window when we get tired of them. God never intended them to be that way. He let us know that when He was here with us.

You might say, “We have progressed beyond those archaic rules. No one should have to stay in a relationship in which you are not happy.” I would tell you that God is a lot smarter than we are. Jesus said those words to a crowd in which marriages were arranged. Your parents told you who you would marry and you didn’t have much choice in the matter. Still the Lord of life says, don’t divorce.

The reason is relationships take work and are built by unselfishly giving to your spouse. Marriage isn’t about compromise. Spouses that go into a marriage with a 50/50 attitude never make it. Marriage is about being all in. It starts with an oath before God that you will love, honor, cherish, support, protect, do all those things …and most of the vows include that little phrase until death do us part.

So how does divorce get into the picture? Someone does something you don’t like and we jump out? Someone hurts our feelings so we quit? Someone doesn’t give us the sprinkles on our ice cream so we pout and cry and decide we’re done? It all goes back to one or both partners wanting more for themselves than for the other partner instead of giving themselves to the relationship.

Jesus saw through divorce for what it was. Selfishness in the relationship that God can fix and only He can fix. You think it will get better in another relationship? Not until you fix the selfishness you took with you into the first one. Why do you think 75 percent of second marriages end in divorce? Why do 90 percent of third marriages end in divorce? The reason is usually staring at you in the mirror. The reason is the self-centeredness that plagues the relationship on one or both parts.

Am I condoning staying in an abusive relationship? Absolutely not! But here’s the problem. A person that chooses an abusive spouse the first time very often chooses an abusive partner the second or third or fourth time. Stay in the relationship? No. Free yourself from the abuse and get help. But stay single. Don’t look for more trouble. Let God be your partner and don’t put yourself back into those abusive situations. You’ve already shown yourself you don’t choose well. Don’t exacerbate the problem.

Does that advice make me a terrible person? I don’t think so. It makes me a practical person having watched so many children suffer pain and agony of broken homes, abusive second and third step-parents. Children especially get lost in the relationships and the parents’ selfish desires to just be with anyone. Don’t do it. At least get the kids grown and out of the house before you think about finding that next mate. You’ll thank me for the advice some day.

But let’s go back to Jesus’ words. If you’re divorced, God forgives. He doesn’t like it. He wants relationships to thrive, but He forgives the past. If you’re married, work as hard as you can to keep your relationship growing. It takes both of you, but it’s worth the work. If you’re in a relationship, dating, thinking about marriage, pray hard. Make the right choice. Remember God expects you to marry for life, not for convenience.

These might be words we want to skip over and pretend Jesus didn’t say them, but He did. We have to contend with them even in our society in which divorce is rampant. Marriage is only a convenience for many. Vows mean little or nothing for too many that stand before an altar. Remember marriage was an institution created by God and He set the rules. When we abide by them, marriage works well. When we don’t, expect to suffer the consequences that come with it.

The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.
In accordance with the requirements for FTC full disclosure, I may have affiliate relationships with some or all of the producers of the items mentioned in this post who may provide a small commission to me when purchased through this site.

Listen to Paul (1 Corinthians 7:1-9), November 10, 2015

Today’s Podcast


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Today’s Scriptures

Today’s Bible reading plans include:

Ready – 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

Set – Job 39; 1 Corinthians 7

Go! – Job 39; 1 Corinthians 7-8

1 Corinthians 7:1-9
1 Now to the topics you raised in your last letter. Some have said, “It is better for a man to abstain from having sex with his wife.” 2 Well, I disagree. Because of our tendency to embrace immoralities, each man should feel free to join together in sexual intimacy with his own wife, and each woman should join with her own husband. 3 Husbands and wives have reciprocal duties. Each husband has the responsibility to meet his wife’s sexual desires, and each wife should do the same for her husband. 4 In marriage neither the husband nor the wife should act as if his or her body is private property—your bodies now belong to one another, and together they are whole. 5 So do not withhold sex from one another, unless both of you have agreed to devote a certain period of time to prayer. When the agreed time is over, come together again so that Satan will not tempt you when you are short on self-control. 6 I am trying to encourage you and give you some wise counsel, so don’t take this advice as a command. 7 I wish that all of you could live as I do, unmarried. But the truth is all people are different, each gifted by God in various and dissimilar ways.
8 To those who are unmarried or widowed, here’s my advice: it is a good thing to stay single as I do. 9 If they do not have self-control, they should go ahead and get married. It is much better to marry than to be obsessed by sexual urges.

Today’s Devotional

From today’s background scripture God might say:

The culture of the first century was obsessed with sex. If you look at the archeological discoveries of the first century you’ll see just how obsessed those who did not follow Me were. Their markets were filled with aphrodisiacs. Their frescos depicted sexual scenes. Their statues elicited sexual excitement. Even their temples were filled with male and female prostitutes to satisfy their gods desires as they performed sexually before their altars. Orgies were part of the debachery of the wealthy’s parties. It was everywhere.

But in the middle of this mess, I sent My Son to come and give a different message. My disciples carried that message across the known world. Paul wrote about it to the Corinthians. I want My children to respect the laws of sexuality I put in place from the very beginning. I instituted the sanctity of marriage between couples. I invented sex. It’s how I meant to propagate the species. For the human race, I meant for you to enjoy the intimacy with your spouse. Satan perverted the relationship like he does so many things, though. He lies to you and tells you it’s okay to have sex outside marital relationships. It’s not. I never intended it that way.

Experimentation was never part of My plan. Partner swapping wasn’t on My mind. Extramarital affairs didn’t cross My mind. Abuse, rape, perversion, sexual relationships outside of marriage all against My chain of thought when I created man and woman and the sexual relationship between them. It was and is a special intimacy between husband and wife. Period. That’s how I designed My creation.

So listen to Paul. Don’t just think about what He says, but do it. I inspired him to write those verses to the Corinthians. Your culture isn’t much different than those in Corinth and Rome. Always looking to find ways to satisfy your base desires. Always looking for pleasure and happiness in the wrong places. Wanting instant gratification. Thinking money and things can satisfy you. Just look at your advertisements. “Sex sells,” the marketers say. And they use it generously.

Your culture mimics those of the first century in so many ways. Listen to Paul and take heed of what he says. It will save you a lot of heartache. It will salvage relationships. It will help your marriage and teach your children respect for the opposite sex. Listen to him and do what he suggests. They are My words he writes, after all.

The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.
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